So many people have told me that I need to be careful this next go around, that I need to be selective. They don't realize that I know exactly the kind of man I am waiting for and feel certain that I'll recognize him almost instantly when God opens that door. Not that I'm in a rush by any means! I just have peace that God will show me the right man in the right timing.
So, for my future husband to read one day, I'm putting my wish list in writing. Really, any guy who even thinks he wants to date me should read this just to rule himself out and not waste my time unless he is up for the challenge of being the man I want and need him to be. My wants and needs are specific, so it's only fair that he knows what he is getting himself into. So here it goes...
Dear love of my life, future father of my children, rocker rocking along side me on the front porch,
I need you to...
... be a God-fearing Christian man, first and foremost. You can love me so much your heart bursts, but if you don't love God even more, it will never work.
... accept the responsibility of being the spiritual leader of the home. That means going to church, striving to draw closer to God, reading Bible stories to our kids one day, teaching them right from wrong, holding me accountable to God's Word when you see me slipping, having faith to carry us through whatever hard times will come because I know that hard times WILL come, and loving me like Christ loved the church - so much that you would lay down your life for our family if necessary. If you love me like that, then I can trust you whole-heartedly with every part of my being.
... want kids because I want to be a mom. If we can't have children of our own for some reason, that simply means that God has a different route intended for us. You need to be the kind of man who would play in the floor with his kids at the end of the day even when he is exhausted and just wants to relax and watch televsion.
... appreciate me and all that I do. I don't mind cooking, cleaning, or taking care of things around the house, but I need to be encouraged rather than overlooked. I need more than a simple "thanks" after I've worked all day then came home and cooked a nice dinner. A kiss on the cheek, an offer to do the dishes, a surprise visit from a maid, a night away from home, or an occasional bouquet of flowers wouldn't be too much to ask.
... encourage me to have a life outside of the house, not make me feel guilty for spending an afternoon with my cousins or for going out to lunch with coworkers. Having relationships and doing fun things with friends or family is important for both of us, otherwise we will have nothing to talk about other than work!
... be handy. I want a man who knows more about tools than I do and who can change the oil in my car! If you can actually be a Mr. Fix-it around the house, even better. I don't intend for you to always have to fix things and I'm not against taking my car to the shop, but a man who knows how to do things with his hands makes me feel like I am safe, like he is in control of the situation and I don't need to worry. I need to feel like I can depend on you when things fall apart. Blame that on my daddy who can fix anything with his eyes closed :)
... be a man's man. Whether it be hunting, fishing, sports, etc., you need to be active in typical "guy" stuff or you won't fit in with my family. Yet, you must know the balance between life and hunting. Hunt all day every day, but there comes a time to prioritize me over a deer stand. I've been second. Heck, I've been way down the list at fourth or fifth, and I will not do that to myself ever again. I deserve more than that. I don't mind planning family holidays around hunts or ballgames, but understand that I am more important than some trophy to hang on the wall. A real man's man knows the value of a good woman and cherishes her more than any trophy.
... be a physical person. I want to snuggle on the couch even if your arm falls asleep, and I don't want a king sized bed with pillows in the middle. I need to be touched on a regular basis to feel close to you. It's important. I need to feel wanted every day, not just vacations and anniversaries. I want days when you can't keep your hands off me because you love me so much.
... be reliable. When you say you are going to do something (even something as small as take out the trash), do it. I don't need excuses; I need you. I need a partner I can depend on when it comes to all aspects of life, whether big or small. I don't expect you to be perfect, but I need the effort. I need to know I don't have to handle everything on my own.
... trust me. I want to be the woman of your dreams, and God is molding me to be everything you've ever wanted because I am putting Him first. With you second only to Him, you never have to wonder where my heart is.
... know the difference between a leader and a dictator. I need you to lead me, not tell me what to do. Talk to me with respect, not with a raised voice. Treat me like an equal, not an employee. And please don't try to control me or keep me under your thumb. I am a capable, intelligent woman with opinions and feelings. I can be your helpmate in so many ways if you let me, but don't try to break my spirit and make me into your underling. Lead me the right way, and I will follow you anywhere.
... know how to have fun!! I can get stressed sometimes (something God and I are working on), and I need you to help me relax and enjoy life even when things are going wrong. Take me dancing, four-wheeler riding, skiing, anything! I don't want to spend my life holed up at home on the couch. Couches were designed for resting, not living. I want to get out and experience all this world has to offer. I'm likely to talk myself out of doing the things I'd really enjoy, so I need you to push me out of my comfort zone and ignore my excuses. Let's have fun!
... just love me for me. I sometimes burn supper. My house isn't always spotless. I come as a package deal with three dogs and a cat, and I'm likely to pick up more along the way because I do that :) I get stressed sometimes. I try to do everything on my own, and I'm too stubborn to wait for help. I have way too many pairs of shoes. I try to grow a garden but usually fail. I have a hard time following through with projects around the house because my mind goes in so many different directions, and I have trouble throwing away anything for which I think I can find a use.
I hope you are man enough to accept this challenge :) I look forward to meeting you...
Sincerely, Your lady in waiting
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