Tonight as I crawl into bed and say my prayers, I feel the tears are going to fall, which is why I'm still up so late. I'm not sad. Really. I'm just tired and frustrated, and I desperately need some fun and laughter injected into my life right now.
I have been in the process of moving for four months. For FOUR MONTHS I have been either packing, moving, or unpacking. Now, I am repacking and moving again after being in this house only a month.
Frustrated.
Tired.
Overwhelmed.
Worn.
I passed all of those feelings weeks ago, and at this point I'm just hanging on.
With less than two weeks to pack and move this time, I have no free time to spare. Plus, I'm not able to lift anything over 10 pounds because of my recent surgery!! So I honestly don't know how I'm going to complete this task of moving. It seems impossible when I actually think about the details, but I know that somehow it will get done. Everything somehow always works itself out in the end.
I'm telling that to myself about my life, too. Everything somehow always works itself out in the end. I've been through a lot of big life changes recently, and I know without any doubts that they are for the better. Yet, that doesn't mean they are easy. I'm so ready to move on from this transition stage and start to live my life again!!
Fulfilled... not frustrated.
Invigorated... not tired.
Hopeful... not overwhelmed.
Wanted... not worn.
I want to feel those things. I look forward to feeling alive again rather than just breathing.
As I lay me down to sleep and pray the Lord my soul to keep, I'll close my eyes and remind myself that everything will work out. He always takes care of me when I can't take care of myself. He will never fail even when I do. His love endures when others cease. He is all I really need, and tonight I will rest in that.
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