It's not just a name.
There it is on the page. A small group of letters that solidifies the huge change in my life. In black and white, someone else's eye might brush off the difference as trivial, but it's anything but trivial to me. The divorce is final. I will never again be Rhonda Taylor. That person no longer exists.
It's both liberating and sobering.
I keep saying my maiden name proudly everywhere I go. "What's the name on your order?" they ask me at Papa Johns. "Sanders," I declare. "What's your name?" the new cashier at my pharmacy asks. "Sanders. Rhonda Sanders," I reply as I hand her my new insurance card. I use my credit card instead of cash just to practice signing my name on the receipt; I haven't quite gotten used to my new signature.
But, you know, my last name doesn't matter to God, and I don't care what last name is used in His Book of Life as long as I'm in there!!
It's just a name.
Yet there's one name I find myself saying more than my own lately. I write it in my diary at the end of my day, I sing it with the song coming through my car speakers, I whisper it to myself at my desk when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I speak it to my friends to offer encouragement, I cry it into my pillow when all else fails.
Jesus.
It's not just a name. It's my battle cry to the devil, letting him know that I'm not going to let him defeat me.
Jesus.
It's not just a name. It's my promise of a rainbow after the storm passes, and it's my calm in the midst of the storm.
Jesus.
It's not just a name. It's my everything.
If you don't know the power of Jesus's name, I encourage you to tap into it today. Speak it. Whisper it. Shout it out! Write it on your heart. That name has the power to cast out demons and move mountains. Say it with me today.
Jesus.
It's not just a name.
It's both liberating and sobering.
I keep saying my maiden name proudly everywhere I go. "What's the name on your order?" they ask me at Papa Johns. "Sanders," I declare. "What's your name?" the new cashier at my pharmacy asks. "Sanders. Rhonda Sanders," I reply as I hand her my new insurance card. I use my credit card instead of cash just to practice signing my name on the receipt; I haven't quite gotten used to my new signature.
But, you know, my last name doesn't matter to God, and I don't care what last name is used in His Book of Life as long as I'm in there!!
It's just a name.
Yet there's one name I find myself saying more than my own lately. I write it in my diary at the end of my day, I sing it with the song coming through my car speakers, I whisper it to myself at my desk when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I speak it to my friends to offer encouragement, I cry it into my pillow when all else fails.
Jesus.
It's not just a name. It's my battle cry to the devil, letting him know that I'm not going to let him defeat me.
Jesus.
It's not just a name. It's my promise of a rainbow after the storm passes, and it's my calm in the midst of the storm.
Jesus.
It's not just a name. It's my everything.
If you don't know the power of Jesus's name, I encourage you to tap into it today. Speak it. Whisper it. Shout it out! Write it on your heart. That name has the power to cast out demons and move mountains. Say it with me today.
Jesus.
It's not just a name.
Preparing to be a Prayer Warrior
I was recently invited to join a Bible study group for single women, so I downloaded the book we would be studying: "Preparing to Be a Help Meet." I began reading it last night, and this is a Bible study that should be done with every young teenage woman when she begins dating! I wonder how different my life would be right now if I'd been really taught as a girl how to look for the right man and how to prepare myself to be the right woman for him.
But there is no use in my wasting time wondering what might have been. I just praise God that He forgives and helps us get back on His path when we wander in our own direction!!
While this book was definitely not written for someone at my stage in life, the introduction asked a couple simple questions that clocked me. Hard.
In the few seconds it took me to read these lines, my whole outlook on dating changed instantly. The questions that have been in my mind for so long simply disappeared. My confusion was erased and replaced with the knowledge of my responsibility toward my future husband.
"Is there a young man that you have met in passing that you thought would be a good husband?"
"Have you been praying for him by name?"
Then the writer of this Bible study said one thing that I will never forget:
"Maybe heaven waits on you."
That explains it, I thought to myself. There's a reason the weight on my heart hasn't lifted -- He's been waiting on me to pray for the right thing. To pray not just for me to find the right man, but to actually start praying for that man, that God will work in his heart and in his life. I've been praying all wrong.
Well, if heaven has been waiting on me, it can stop waiting! I got the message, loud and clear!! This prayer warrior is ready for war, so heaven need wait no more!
Is there something in your life that you've been waiting for? Well, maybe heaven is waiting on you to make the first move. Pray, and pray hard!! And don't just pray for yourself - pray for each person involved in or affected by the situation that is weighing on your heart.
But there is no use in my wasting time wondering what might have been. I just praise God that He forgives and helps us get back on His path when we wander in our own direction!!
While this book was definitely not written for someone at my stage in life, the introduction asked a couple simple questions that clocked me. Hard.
In the few seconds it took me to read these lines, my whole outlook on dating changed instantly. The questions that have been in my mind for so long simply disappeared. My confusion was erased and replaced with the knowledge of my responsibility toward my future husband.
"Is there a young man that you have met in passing that you thought would be a good husband?"
"Maybe heaven waits on you."
That explains it, I thought to myself. There's a reason the weight on my heart hasn't lifted -- He's been waiting on me to pray for the right thing. To pray not just for me to find the right man, but to actually start praying for that man, that God will work in his heart and in his life. I've been praying all wrong.
Well, if heaven has been waiting on me, it can stop waiting! I got the message, loud and clear!! This prayer warrior is ready for war, so heaven need wait no more!
Is there something in your life that you've been waiting for? Well, maybe heaven is waiting on you to make the first move. Pray, and pray hard!! And don't just pray for yourself - pray for each person involved in or affected by the situation that is weighing on your heart.
Pumpkins and Fairy Tales
I spent Saturday morning rocking on my front porch wrapped in an orange and brown afghan, wishing my coffee had a shot of pumpkin spice. Ummm... tis the season for pumpkin! Pumpkin pie, pumpkin spiced latte, pumpkin cheesecake... they all sound so yummy!!
My front porch is currently my favorite place to relax. Other than the occasional tractor, all I hear are cows mooing, birds chirping, and my cat purring. I sit there on my wooden white rocker envisioning my dream home - a cabin out in the woods with a porch all the way around and a fire crackling in the outdoor stone fireplace.
I close my eyes and imagine I'm there.
My little piece of paradise.
My fairy tale.
Which then makes me think of Cinderella, and I hope desperately that this pumpkin of my life turns into a beautiful carriage one day. However, too many people overlook the pumpkin's value because they are dreaming of a fancy carriage and fairy tale ending, and I don't want to be like that - so caught up in something that may never happen that I miss out on the pleasures of every day life.
And the pleasures of my everyday life are really great! On those Saturday mornings on the dirt road listening to birds singing, everything else fades away and I feel as though God created it all just for me to enjoy. No matter what others may have that I don't, they don't have this. Henry David Thoreau wrote, "I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion." He was a pretty smart guy.
Today, I'm thankful for my little pumpkin. It may not be a fairy tale, but it sure is good.
My front porch is currently my favorite place to relax. Other than the occasional tractor, all I hear are cows mooing, birds chirping, and my cat purring. I sit there on my wooden white rocker envisioning my dream home - a cabin out in the woods with a porch all the way around and a fire crackling in the outdoor stone fireplace.
I close my eyes and imagine I'm there.
My little piece of paradise.
My fairy tale.
Which then makes me think of Cinderella, and I hope desperately that this pumpkin of my life turns into a beautiful carriage one day. However, too many people overlook the pumpkin's value because they are dreaming of a fancy carriage and fairy tale ending, and I don't want to be like that - so caught up in something that may never happen that I miss out on the pleasures of every day life.
And the pleasures of my everyday life are really great! On those Saturday mornings on the dirt road listening to birds singing, everything else fades away and I feel as though God created it all just for me to enjoy. No matter what others may have that I don't, they don't have this. Henry David Thoreau wrote, "I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion." He was a pretty smart guy.
Today, I'm thankful for my little pumpkin. It may not be a fairy tale, but it sure is good.
The Snowball Effect
Have you ever looked at someone you consider successful and wondered, "How did he/she get there?"
I see authors who've sold millions of books and can sometimes feel overwhelmed with self-doubt, but those doubts are of the devil who wants me to feel overwhelmed and give up. Luckily, I know better.
Publishing my novel is an act of faith, and I'm not giving up on my calling no matter how hard it gets!!
I've always had faith tucked away for times in life when I needed it, like a warm blanket waiting for a cold day. However, learning to apply faith to my daily life has been much like the snowball effect about which I've been studying in my book marketing strategies. It starts out small and builds slowly.
And it won't build itself. I must be a driving force pushing it forward.
Have you been actively pushing your faith to build and grow stronger, or have you been content as I used to be with it simply tucked away for a cold day?
Faith isn't a blanket you pull out on a cozy night by the fireplace. It is a powerful weapon.
Use it.
I see authors who've sold millions of books and can sometimes feel overwhelmed with self-doubt, but those doubts are of the devil who wants me to feel overwhelmed and give up. Luckily, I know better.
Publishing my novel is an act of faith, and I'm not giving up on my calling no matter how hard it gets!!
I've always had faith tucked away for times in life when I needed it, like a warm blanket waiting for a cold day. However, learning to apply faith to my daily life has been much like the snowball effect about which I've been studying in my book marketing strategies. It starts out small and builds slowly.
And it won't build itself. I must be a driving force pushing it forward.
Have you been actively pushing your faith to build and grow stronger, or have you been content as I used to be with it simply tucked away for a cold day?
Faith isn't a blanket you pull out on a cozy night by the fireplace. It is a powerful weapon.
Use it.
Changing the way you think...
"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got."
All my life, I've heard that saying. When I decided to turn my life completely over to God, I knew that big changes would need to take place in my life. Yet, breaking old habits isn't easy. Most people have little vices, things we tell ourselves are insignificant, and we make excuses to our own hearts in attempt to justify the decisions. However, if we want big results, if we want God to use us in special ways, we must first be willing to make whatever changes are necessary to give Him a blank canvas on which He will paint a new and brighter future.
Romans 12:1-2 states, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God — this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will."
Think of the your life as a painting. When you give your life to God, He washes the canvas white as snow. But the canvas is just going to get messy again if you continue trying to paint a masterpiece on your own. You have to hand the paintbrush over to Him.
Your body is a sacrifice, and sinful human nature often urges us to give in to desires that don't honor God. "Sacrifice" is "the act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone" or "an act of killing a person or animal in a religious ceremony as an offering to please a god." To offer your body as a sacrifice, you essentially "kill" the old you to please God. To sacrifice means to lose something precious, surrendering something you want to keep.
What do you want to hang on to today that God is asking you to give up? I know what He is asking me to surrender, and it's a daily struggle for me. Some days, the struggle hits me so hard that I want to quit. Giving in to sin is much easier than being a living sacrifice.
That's when I focus on the verse 2. If I want to change what I do, I must first change the way I think in order to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Change comes from within. Changing your thoughts changes your actions. I know that I want the good, pleasing, and perfect plan God has for my life. When the sacrifice seems too much, I just remember His promises. Nothing I desire compares to Him and His plan for me.
I'm changing the way I think, and He is changing me.
All my life, I've heard that saying. When I decided to turn my life completely over to God, I knew that big changes would need to take place in my life. Yet, breaking old habits isn't easy. Most people have little vices, things we tell ourselves are insignificant, and we make excuses to our own hearts in attempt to justify the decisions. However, if we want big results, if we want God to use us in special ways, we must first be willing to make whatever changes are necessary to give Him a blank canvas on which He will paint a new and brighter future.
Romans 12:1-2 states, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God — this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will."
Think of the your life as a painting. When you give your life to God, He washes the canvas white as snow. But the canvas is just going to get messy again if you continue trying to paint a masterpiece on your own. You have to hand the paintbrush over to Him.
Your body is a sacrifice, and sinful human nature often urges us to give in to desires that don't honor God. "Sacrifice" is "the act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone" or "an act of killing a person or animal in a religious ceremony as an offering to please a god." To offer your body as a sacrifice, you essentially "kill" the old you to please God. To sacrifice means to lose something precious, surrendering something you want to keep.
What do you want to hang on to today that God is asking you to give up? I know what He is asking me to surrender, and it's a daily struggle for me. Some days, the struggle hits me so hard that I want to quit. Giving in to sin is much easier than being a living sacrifice.
That's when I focus on the verse 2. If I want to change what I do, I must first change the way I think in order to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Change comes from within. Changing your thoughts changes your actions. I know that I want the good, pleasing, and perfect plan God has for my life. When the sacrifice seems too much, I just remember His promises. Nothing I desire compares to Him and His plan for me.
I'm changing the way I think, and He is changing me.
Just Say Jesus
It is quite simple. His name is Jesus.
I was broken, and He put my pieces back together.
I was a mess, and He washed me clean.
I had gotten off course, and He lit my path and righted my steps.
I was crying, and He dried my tears.
I hung my head, and He bore my shame.
I couldn't take another step forward, and He carried me.
I am a sinner, and He died to save me.
It is quite simple, yet so hard to comprehend how the son of the Almighty God in Heaven has done all of this for little ol' me!!
So today, if you are broken like I was, you may bow your head to pray and not know what to say. That's how I was. I sat on my knees, hands folded so many times when no words could form in my mind to express what I was feeling.
If you feel like that today, please know that there is only one thing you need to say. Just say Jesus. You don't have to speak another word. He hears you, and He knows your heart.
If you haven't heard the song "Just Say Jesus" by 7eventh Time Down, you should really look it up.
However it comes out, He hears your cry.
Out of no where He will come.
You've got to believe it!
He will rescue you,
just call out to the Way, the Truth, the Life!"
Flipping the Switch
In my new teeny tiny 900 square foot house (of which I can only use two-thirds -- different story altogether), my king-sized bed takes up the majority of the bedroom. When I walk through the door to my bedroom, two steps gets to the bed, two steps to the left gets to the bathroom, and two steps forward... and that's it! That's all the room I have to move around!
With no space (obviously) for a nightstand, my cute set of bedside lamps found new homes in boxes in a storage building, and I accepted a clip-on desk lamp attached to my headboard. The problem is that the only plug is in the far corner where the bed is against two walls. So every night as I prepare for bed, I crawl across the king-sized bed to twist the knob on the end of the lamp and turn on the light, which I have flipped upside down so it won't blind me.
Then, I crawl back off the bed to turn off the overhead light.
It's a demeaning crawl.
I remind myself that this is only my temporary home, and that my living arrangements are better than those of so many people in the world!! I feel guilty for feeling down on myself when I have a roof over my head, indoor plumbing, and working appliances.
To be honest, I'm embarrassed. At this point in my life, I did not picture myself here, and it hurts to look around me and see boxes of my life that have absolutely no where to go. Actually, if you had told 21-year-old me that this would be my life, I would have literally laughed out loud. Really. I smile right now so as not to cry as I stare at these boxes I have to step over every time I walk across my living room.
Every night, I look forward to turning off the lights; and every morning, I lie in the dark trying to figure out where I am because this does not feel like home. I want to click my heels, but that doesn't work.
I miss my house, but it's somebody else's house now. I miss my walk-in closet, the half-drawn mural on my guest bedroom wall, the turquoise office where I wrote most of my novel, the dining set I picked up at a yard sale for $20, the kitchen island where I served Easter lunch and decorated countless birthday cakes and cupcakes, the dining room windowsills where I started the seeds for my garden, the front porch overlooking my huge front yard, the flowerbeds full of daylilies, roses, daisies, hydrangeas... it hurts to think of how I've gone from all of that to this.
But I have learned to be content in all circumstances. And when looking at my new surroundings just hurts too much, I simply flip the switch so I don't have to look anymore.
With no space (obviously) for a nightstand, my cute set of bedside lamps found new homes in boxes in a storage building, and I accepted a clip-on desk lamp attached to my headboard. The problem is that the only plug is in the far corner where the bed is against two walls. So every night as I prepare for bed, I crawl across the king-sized bed to twist the knob on the end of the lamp and turn on the light, which I have flipped upside down so it won't blind me.
Then, I crawl back off the bed to turn off the overhead light.
It's a demeaning crawl.
I remind myself that this is only my temporary home, and that my living arrangements are better than those of so many people in the world!! I feel guilty for feeling down on myself when I have a roof over my head, indoor plumbing, and working appliances.
To be honest, I'm embarrassed. At this point in my life, I did not picture myself here, and it hurts to look around me and see boxes of my life that have absolutely no where to go. Actually, if you had told 21-year-old me that this would be my life, I would have literally laughed out loud. Really. I smile right now so as not to cry as I stare at these boxes I have to step over every time I walk across my living room.
Every night, I look forward to turning off the lights; and every morning, I lie in the dark trying to figure out where I am because this does not feel like home. I want to click my heels, but that doesn't work.
I miss my house, but it's somebody else's house now. I miss my walk-in closet, the half-drawn mural on my guest bedroom wall, the turquoise office where I wrote most of my novel, the dining set I picked up at a yard sale for $20, the kitchen island where I served Easter lunch and decorated countless birthday cakes and cupcakes, the dining room windowsills where I started the seeds for my garden, the front porch overlooking my huge front yard, the flowerbeds full of daylilies, roses, daisies, hydrangeas... it hurts to think of how I've gone from all of that to this.
But I have learned to be content in all circumstances. And when looking at my new surroundings just hurts too much, I simply flip the switch so I don't have to look anymore.
Aim High!!
Henry David Thoreau once said, "In the long run, men hit only what they aim at. Therefore, they had better aim at something high."
Too long, I have lived without real goals. Dreams, yes. Goals, not so much. I've been made to feel inferior, inadequate, unimportant; and I lost belief that I really "can do all things" that I set my mind to doing when God is part of my decision-making process. Until recently, I've settled for making the most out of what I had rather than striving for something more.
Forced to make changes and look at my life anew, I've been liberated to the realization that I can achieve great things... but only if I try. With that realization, I'm no longer satisfied with life as it is. Content, yes. Satisfied, not so much. It is time for me to set some big goals and begin working in the direction God is leading me.
Whatever goals you are aiming for today, here is a word of encouragement from Ephesians 3:16-21,
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Here's to aiming high today!! Big goals, big dreams, big plans! Nothing is too big for our God!
Too long, I have lived without real goals. Dreams, yes. Goals, not so much. I've been made to feel inferior, inadequate, unimportant; and I lost belief that I really "can do all things" that I set my mind to doing when God is part of my decision-making process. Until recently, I've settled for making the most out of what I had rather than striving for something more.
Forced to make changes and look at my life anew, I've been liberated to the realization that I can achieve great things... but only if I try. With that realization, I'm no longer satisfied with life as it is. Content, yes. Satisfied, not so much. It is time for me to set some big goals and begin working in the direction God is leading me.
Whatever goals you are aiming for today, here is a word of encouragement from Ephesians 3:16-21,
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Here's to aiming high today!! Big goals, big dreams, big plans! Nothing is too big for our God!
To the Love of My Life
So many people have told me that I need to be careful this next go around, that I need to be selective. They don't realize that I know exactly the kind of man I am waiting for and feel certain that I'll recognize him almost instantly when God opens that door. Not that I'm in a rush by any means! I just have peace that God will show me the right man in the right timing.
So, for my future husband to read one day, I'm putting my wish list in writing. Really, any guy who even thinks he wants to date me should read this just to rule himself out and not waste my time unless he is up for the challenge of being the man I want and need him to be. My wants and needs are specific, so it's only fair that he knows what he is getting himself into. So here it goes...
Dear love of my life, future father of my children, rocker rocking along side me on the front porch,
I need you to...
... be a God-fearing Christian man, first and foremost. You can love me so much your heart bursts, but if you don't love God even more, it will never work.
... accept the responsibility of being the spiritual leader of the home. That means going to church, striving to draw closer to God, reading Bible stories to our kids one day, teaching them right from wrong, holding me accountable to God's Word when you see me slipping, having faith to carry us through whatever hard times will come because I know that hard times WILL come, and loving me like Christ loved the church - so much that you would lay down your life for our family if necessary. If you love me like that, then I can trust you whole-heartedly with every part of my being.
... want kids because I want to be a mom. If we can't have children of our own for some reason, that simply means that God has a different route intended for us. You need to be the kind of man who would play in the floor with his kids at the end of the day even when he is exhausted and just wants to relax and watch televsion.
... appreciate me and all that I do. I don't mind cooking, cleaning, or taking care of things around the house, but I need to be encouraged rather than overlooked. I need more than a simple "thanks" after I've worked all day then came home and cooked a nice dinner. A kiss on the cheek, an offer to do the dishes, a surprise visit from a maid, a night away from home, or an occasional bouquet of flowers wouldn't be too much to ask.
... encourage me to have a life outside of the house, not make me feel guilty for spending an afternoon with my cousins or for going out to lunch with coworkers. Having relationships and doing fun things with friends or family is important for both of us, otherwise we will have nothing to talk about other than work!
... be handy. I want a man who knows more about tools than I do and who can change the oil in my car! If you can actually be a Mr. Fix-it around the house, even better. I don't intend for you to always have to fix things and I'm not against taking my car to the shop, but a man who knows how to do things with his hands makes me feel like I am safe, like he is in control of the situation and I don't need to worry. I need to feel like I can depend on you when things fall apart. Blame that on my daddy who can fix anything with his eyes closed :)
... be a man's man. Whether it be hunting, fishing, sports, etc., you need to be active in typical "guy" stuff or you won't fit in with my family. Yet, you must know the balance between life and hunting. Hunt all day every day, but there comes a time to prioritize me over a deer stand. I've been second. Heck, I've been way down the list at fourth or fifth, and I will not do that to myself ever again. I deserve more than that. I don't mind planning family holidays around hunts or ballgames, but understand that I am more important than some trophy to hang on the wall. A real man's man knows the value of a good woman and cherishes her more than any trophy.
... be a physical person. I want to snuggle on the couch even if your arm falls asleep, and I don't want a king sized bed with pillows in the middle. I need to be touched on a regular basis to feel close to you. It's important. I need to feel wanted every day, not just vacations and anniversaries. I want days when you can't keep your hands off me because you love me so much.
... be reliable. When you say you are going to do something (even something as small as take out the trash), do it. I don't need excuses; I need you. I need a partner I can depend on when it comes to all aspects of life, whether big or small. I don't expect you to be perfect, but I need the effort. I need to know I don't have to handle everything on my own.
... trust me. I want to be the woman of your dreams, and God is molding me to be everything you've ever wanted because I am putting Him first. With you second only to Him, you never have to wonder where my heart is.
... know the difference between a leader and a dictator. I need you to lead me, not tell me what to do. Talk to me with respect, not with a raised voice. Treat me like an equal, not an employee. And please don't try to control me or keep me under your thumb. I am a capable, intelligent woman with opinions and feelings. I can be your helpmate in so many ways if you let me, but don't try to break my spirit and make me into your underling. Lead me the right way, and I will follow you anywhere.
... know how to have fun!! I can get stressed sometimes (something God and I are working on), and I need you to help me relax and enjoy life even when things are going wrong. Take me dancing, four-wheeler riding, skiing, anything! I don't want to spend my life holed up at home on the couch. Couches were designed for resting, not living. I want to get out and experience all this world has to offer. I'm likely to talk myself out of doing the things I'd really enjoy, so I need you to push me out of my comfort zone and ignore my excuses. Let's have fun!
... just love me for me. I sometimes burn supper. My house isn't always spotless. I come as a package deal with three dogs and a cat, and I'm likely to pick up more along the way because I do that :) I get stressed sometimes. I try to do everything on my own, and I'm too stubborn to wait for help. I have way too many pairs of shoes. I try to grow a garden but usually fail. I have a hard time following through with projects around the house because my mind goes in so many different directions, and I have trouble throwing away anything for which I think I can find a use.
I hope you are man enough to accept this challenge :) I look forward to meeting you...
Sincerely, Your lady in waiting
So, for my future husband to read one day, I'm putting my wish list in writing. Really, any guy who even thinks he wants to date me should read this just to rule himself out and not waste my time unless he is up for the challenge of being the man I want and need him to be. My wants and needs are specific, so it's only fair that he knows what he is getting himself into. So here it goes...
Dear love of my life, future father of my children, rocker rocking along side me on the front porch,
I need you to...
... be a God-fearing Christian man, first and foremost. You can love me so much your heart bursts, but if you don't love God even more, it will never work.
... accept the responsibility of being the spiritual leader of the home. That means going to church, striving to draw closer to God, reading Bible stories to our kids one day, teaching them right from wrong, holding me accountable to God's Word when you see me slipping, having faith to carry us through whatever hard times will come because I know that hard times WILL come, and loving me like Christ loved the church - so much that you would lay down your life for our family if necessary. If you love me like that, then I can trust you whole-heartedly with every part of my being.
... want kids because I want to be a mom. If we can't have children of our own for some reason, that simply means that God has a different route intended for us. You need to be the kind of man who would play in the floor with his kids at the end of the day even when he is exhausted and just wants to relax and watch televsion.
... appreciate me and all that I do. I don't mind cooking, cleaning, or taking care of things around the house, but I need to be encouraged rather than overlooked. I need more than a simple "thanks" after I've worked all day then came home and cooked a nice dinner. A kiss on the cheek, an offer to do the dishes, a surprise visit from a maid, a night away from home, or an occasional bouquet of flowers wouldn't be too much to ask.
... encourage me to have a life outside of the house, not make me feel guilty for spending an afternoon with my cousins or for going out to lunch with coworkers. Having relationships and doing fun things with friends or family is important for both of us, otherwise we will have nothing to talk about other than work!
... be handy. I want a man who knows more about tools than I do and who can change the oil in my car! If you can actually be a Mr. Fix-it around the house, even better. I don't intend for you to always have to fix things and I'm not against taking my car to the shop, but a man who knows how to do things with his hands makes me feel like I am safe, like he is in control of the situation and I don't need to worry. I need to feel like I can depend on you when things fall apart. Blame that on my daddy who can fix anything with his eyes closed :)
... be a man's man. Whether it be hunting, fishing, sports, etc., you need to be active in typical "guy" stuff or you won't fit in with my family. Yet, you must know the balance between life and hunting. Hunt all day every day, but there comes a time to prioritize me over a deer stand. I've been second. Heck, I've been way down the list at fourth or fifth, and I will not do that to myself ever again. I deserve more than that. I don't mind planning family holidays around hunts or ballgames, but understand that I am more important than some trophy to hang on the wall. A real man's man knows the value of a good woman and cherishes her more than any trophy.
... be a physical person. I want to snuggle on the couch even if your arm falls asleep, and I don't want a king sized bed with pillows in the middle. I need to be touched on a regular basis to feel close to you. It's important. I need to feel wanted every day, not just vacations and anniversaries. I want days when you can't keep your hands off me because you love me so much.
... be reliable. When you say you are going to do something (even something as small as take out the trash), do it. I don't need excuses; I need you. I need a partner I can depend on when it comes to all aspects of life, whether big or small. I don't expect you to be perfect, but I need the effort. I need to know I don't have to handle everything on my own.
... trust me. I want to be the woman of your dreams, and God is molding me to be everything you've ever wanted because I am putting Him first. With you second only to Him, you never have to wonder where my heart is.
... know the difference between a leader and a dictator. I need you to lead me, not tell me what to do. Talk to me with respect, not with a raised voice. Treat me like an equal, not an employee. And please don't try to control me or keep me under your thumb. I am a capable, intelligent woman with opinions and feelings. I can be your helpmate in so many ways if you let me, but don't try to break my spirit and make me into your underling. Lead me the right way, and I will follow you anywhere.
... know how to have fun!! I can get stressed sometimes (something God and I are working on), and I need you to help me relax and enjoy life even when things are going wrong. Take me dancing, four-wheeler riding, skiing, anything! I don't want to spend my life holed up at home on the couch. Couches were designed for resting, not living. I want to get out and experience all this world has to offer. I'm likely to talk myself out of doing the things I'd really enjoy, so I need you to push me out of my comfort zone and ignore my excuses. Let's have fun!
... just love me for me. I sometimes burn supper. My house isn't always spotless. I come as a package deal with three dogs and a cat, and I'm likely to pick up more along the way because I do that :) I get stressed sometimes. I try to do everything on my own, and I'm too stubborn to wait for help. I have way too many pairs of shoes. I try to grow a garden but usually fail. I have a hard time following through with projects around the house because my mind goes in so many different directions, and I have trouble throwing away anything for which I think I can find a use.
I hope you are man enough to accept this challenge :) I look forward to meeting you...
Sincerely, Your lady in waiting
Knock Knock!
http://beyondwaiting.com/2013/07/15/give-me-some-time-to-kick-that-door-down/
I'm sharing this link because the writer of this blog says exactly what I needed to hear today and I can't phrase it any better than she did!
I've recently accepted that there are certain things in life that I think I want but I am not supposed to have. Not every door is put in my path so I can go through it. Some doors, however promising what's on the other side may be, are meant to be only tests of my faith and patience.
Life is too precious to waste energy kicking at doors God doesn't want me to open. My time is better spent on my knees praying for God to open the right doors. This writer says "There’s a door you won’t have to force because it was made for swinging open at the faintest touch." In my heart, I know that is true.
As a divorced woman, I find myself spending too much time dwelling on my future. My life seems as though I'm standing alone in a pale room, and every wall is lined with doors. Big doors, small doors, worn doors, new doors... the opportunities both excite and overwhelm me because I want to make sure I'm choosing my paths carefully. This devotion helped me see that it's okay for me to knock on these doors, but I need to learn when to turn and walk away from the ones that are stuck rather than breaking out the sledgehammer and WD-40!
And God confirms this in His Word. Matthew 7:7 reads, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." It doesn't say, KICK THE DOOR UNTIL YOU FORCE IT OPEN!!!
God says knock.
Ask.
Seek.
Knock.
So often I wonder why I don't have certain things, why I can't find the right answers, why the door stays closed; but it is because I'm not asking, seeking, and knocking the way He commands. It's so simple.
Ask. Your requests will be granted.
Seek. The answers will be found.
Knock. The door will be opened.
No version of that verse says "Knock, then open the door." It says the door will be opened for you, which makes my part pretty easy! Just knock, see if it opens, then move on if it doesn't.
I'm sharing this link because the writer of this blog says exactly what I needed to hear today and I can't phrase it any better than she did!
I've recently accepted that there are certain things in life that I think I want but I am not supposed to have. Not every door is put in my path so I can go through it. Some doors, however promising what's on the other side may be, are meant to be only tests of my faith and patience.
Life is too precious to waste energy kicking at doors God doesn't want me to open. My time is better spent on my knees praying for God to open the right doors. This writer says "There’s a door you won’t have to force because it was made for swinging open at the faintest touch." In my heart, I know that is true.
As a divorced woman, I find myself spending too much time dwelling on my future. My life seems as though I'm standing alone in a pale room, and every wall is lined with doors. Big doors, small doors, worn doors, new doors... the opportunities both excite and overwhelm me because I want to make sure I'm choosing my paths carefully. This devotion helped me see that it's okay for me to knock on these doors, but I need to learn when to turn and walk away from the ones that are stuck rather than breaking out the sledgehammer and WD-40!
And God confirms this in His Word. Matthew 7:7 reads, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." It doesn't say, KICK THE DOOR UNTIL YOU FORCE IT OPEN!!!
God says knock.
Ask.
Seek.
Knock.
So often I wonder why I don't have certain things, why I can't find the right answers, why the door stays closed; but it is because I'm not asking, seeking, and knocking the way He commands. It's so simple.
Ask. Your requests will be granted.
Seek. The answers will be found.
Knock. The door will be opened.
No version of that verse says "Knock, then open the door." It says the door will be opened for you, which makes my part pretty easy! Just knock, see if it opens, then move on if it doesn't.
Lead Me & Protect Me, O Lord!
Psalm 25:4-7, 16-21
"Show me the right path, O Lord;
point out the road for me to follow.
Lead me by your truth and teach me,
for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in you.
Remember, O Lord, your compassion and unfailing love,
which you have shown from long ages past.
Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth.
Remember me in the light of your unfailing love,
for you are merciful, O Lord.
"Turn to me and have mercy,
for I am alone and in deep distress.
My problems go from bad to worse.
Oh, save me from them all!
Feel my pain and see my trouble.
Forgive all my sins.
See how many enemies I have
and how viciously they hate me!
Protect me! Rescue my life from them!
Do not let me be disgraced, for in you I take refuge.
My integrity and honesty protect me,
for I put my hope in you."
Make a wish!
When my birthday rolls around, there's one moment I look forward to. My cake sits there on the table (if I'm lucky, it has strawberries!). People I love are singing in my honor. There's a brief moment where I inhale deeply, preparing to blow out the candles to make a wish...
That's my moment.
I don't honestly put faith in wishes I make over birthday candles, but in those few brief seconds, I imagine that whatever wish I make will come alive as soon as that flame turns to smoke.
Right now, sitting on the couch tonight watching Pitch Perfect on DVR ("I'm going to finish him like a cheesecake!"), I feel like I'm standing in front of a cake full of so many candles that the fire department better be on speed dial ;)
I'm holding my breath and envisioning the wishes I could make at this point in my life, and I'm realizing that I can wish for WHATEVER I WANT!!! It's a freaking awesome feeling! I can go back to graduate school, I can plan a trip to Italy or a weekend in Savannah, I can publish a book of poetry or learn to speak Spanish, I can take my time and wait for a man who deserves and appreciates all I have to offer.
I feel like I'm at the very beginning of my life. Okay, well, maybe that is a tad bit dramatic. But even if I'm not at the beginning, I feel like so many wonderful experiences await me as soon as I blow out these candles...
I just need to take a deep breath and go for it!
It think it's time to cut this cake :)
If It Fits...
I slammed the car door behind me and rushed across the parking lot, high heels "click, click, clicking" in a near run to the door. I swiped my badge and hurried to my desk hoping no one would notice my labored breathing. Late for work again. Second time this week.
The problem isn't that I wake up late or waste time in the morning. It's my clothes!!! Nothing fits anymore! Don't let me mislead you - I am happy to have lost weight, although the way I lost it was miserable!! And shopping is going to be a blast... especially to my checkbook!
But to try on skirt after skirt after pants after dress and nothing fit? It's very frustrating.
And it makes me a little nervous. Being recently divorced, I'm getting back into the dating world and I'm starting to be a little scared about "shopping" the dating market. :) People aren't like clothes you can mend to your liking or donate to Salvation Army -- if only it were that simple!!
But shopping should really be fun! Maybe I will find the perfect dress that fits just right...
Dancing for Joy
Today, I am HAPPY!
I have been through a lot lately,
but like Psalm 30 verse 5 says,
"Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning."
Praise God for new beginnings!!!!
He has "turned my wailing into dancing"!
Psalm 30
I will exalt you, Lord,
for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
2 Lord my God, I called to you for help,
and you healed me.
3 You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead;
you spared me from going down to the pit.
4 Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people;
praise his holy name.
5 For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.
praise his holy name.
5 For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.
6 When I felt secure, I said,
“I will never be shaken.”
7 Lord, when you favored me,
you made my royal mountain[c] stand firm;
but when you hid your face,
I was dismayed.
“I will never be shaken.”
7 Lord, when you favored me,
you made my royal mountain[c] stand firm;
but when you hid your face,
I was dismayed.
8 To you, Lord, I called;
to the Lord I cried for mercy:
9 “What is gained if I am silenced,
if I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise you?
Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
10 Hear, Lord, and be merciful to me;
Lord, be my help.”
to the Lord I cried for mercy:
9 “What is gained if I am silenced,
if I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise you?
Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
10 Hear, Lord, and be merciful to me;
Lord, be my help.”
11 You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
12 that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
Lord my God, I will praise you forever.
Looking back and moving forward
Two years ago, I wrote a new poem and posted it on my blog. I cry now as I read it and realize that my prayer in the last stanza has come to fruition. I told the Lord to break me if that's what it would take to show me how to serve Him, and I have definitely been broken. I told Him to blur my vision of my future if He had something different planned for me, and He has definitely done so recently.
I'm sharing this poem with you again because it is my prayer today. I see God working in so many aspects of my life right now, and I need to remind myself daily to respond to these changes with a willing heart rather than with sadness, confusion, anger, or despair. He has a perfect plan.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Lord, Make Me Uncomfortable
Lord, make me uncomfortable with my daily routine
So I'll follow your steps wherever they lead.
Make me uncomfortable as I'm cooking dinner
So I'll remember the sheep you want me to feed.
Make my recliner less comfortable for sitting
So I'll spend more time moving and less as a slouch.
Doing your will and reaching the lost
Can hardly be done with a remote from the couch.
Make me uncomfortable when I'm in the presence
Of ungodly things of which you disapprove.
Make me uncomfortable keeping my mouth shut
When Your Spirit through me is trying to move.
Make my plans hazy and my dreams disappear
If you have different goals planned for me.
Break my heart, my body, and soul,
If that's how I will better serve Thee.
I'm sharing this poem with you again because it is my prayer today. I see God working in so many aspects of my life right now, and I need to remind myself daily to respond to these changes with a willing heart rather than with sadness, confusion, anger, or despair. He has a perfect plan.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Lord, Make Me Uncomfortable
Lord, make me uncomfortable with my daily routine
So I'll follow your steps wherever they lead.
Make me uncomfortable as I'm cooking dinner
So I'll remember the sheep you want me to feed.
Make my recliner less comfortable for sitting
So I'll spend more time moving and less as a slouch.
Doing your will and reaching the lost
Can hardly be done with a remote from the couch.
Make me uncomfortable when I'm in the presence
Of ungodly things of which you disapprove.
Make me uncomfortable keeping my mouth shut
When Your Spirit through me is trying to move.
Make my plans hazy and my dreams disappear
If you have different goals planned for me.
Break my heart, my body, and soul,
If that's how I will better serve Thee.
The Big Stick
Lying in the hospital bed last week, I turned my face away from the nurse and squished my eyelids together as tightly as I possibly could. I braced for that "big stick" she'd warned about a few seconds before.
Then, in a second, the pain from the stick was over. A deep ache remained in my arm with the IV, but it wasn't a pain like that initial stick. Just an ache, which eventually faded to a soreness, which I became accustomed to almost to the point I forgot it was there... almost.
Now several days after that IV was removed, bruises line both my arms and hands reminding me of the many "big sticks" I endured those several days in the hospital. My normal routine is interrupted regularly as those bruises send a twinge of pain through my arm stopping whatever I was trying to do, but I know that pain will cease with time just as the bruises will disappear, leaving only a tiny dot of a scar on each hand where the IVs were.
But these bruises remind me of so much more than my physical pain that is fading away. They are a blessed promise that these "big sticks" I've been enduring for the last several weeks of my life -- these huge life-changing events that I've tried to turn my face away from and squish my eyelids together dreading the hurt -- the pain they are causing me today will, too, fade with time.
I signed my divorce papers today. Although I'm completely ready to move on with this next stage of my life, I have been dreading those papers like a terrible needle. I knew in the hospital that I needed the IV, that it was a necessity for my health to improve; in the same way, I know that I need these papers to be signed for my situation in life to improve.
As my pen scribbled across the paper once, twice, three times, it was over. Much like that "big stick" is over in a second, so was the dreaded signing of those papers. Now all that is left is an ache, a feeling of failure... but along with that feeling of failure is a clear determination not to make the same mistakes again. To do it better the next time. To love harder. To give everything I have and not let failure be an option.
I know that my heart will be bruised for a little while, but the healing ache of moving on is one I embrace! I'd rather be healing than hurting like I have been doing for a long time.
This "big stick" is going to heal. I am going to be better for it. My future is going to be better because of it. One day the pain will be so distant in my memory that I will have to make a real effort to recall it.
I look forward to that day.
But for now, I'm nursing my bruises and giving them time to heal.
Then, in a second, the pain from the stick was over. A deep ache remained in my arm with the IV, but it wasn't a pain like that initial stick. Just an ache, which eventually faded to a soreness, which I became accustomed to almost to the point I forgot it was there... almost.
Now several days after that IV was removed, bruises line both my arms and hands reminding me of the many "big sticks" I endured those several days in the hospital. My normal routine is interrupted regularly as those bruises send a twinge of pain through my arm stopping whatever I was trying to do, but I know that pain will cease with time just as the bruises will disappear, leaving only a tiny dot of a scar on each hand where the IVs were.
But these bruises remind me of so much more than my physical pain that is fading away. They are a blessed promise that these "big sticks" I've been enduring for the last several weeks of my life -- these huge life-changing events that I've tried to turn my face away from and squish my eyelids together dreading the hurt -- the pain they are causing me today will, too, fade with time.
I signed my divorce papers today. Although I'm completely ready to move on with this next stage of my life, I have been dreading those papers like a terrible needle. I knew in the hospital that I needed the IV, that it was a necessity for my health to improve; in the same way, I know that I need these papers to be signed for my situation in life to improve.
As my pen scribbled across the paper once, twice, three times, it was over. Much like that "big stick" is over in a second, so was the dreaded signing of those papers. Now all that is left is an ache, a feeling of failure... but along with that feeling of failure is a clear determination not to make the same mistakes again. To do it better the next time. To love harder. To give everything I have and not let failure be an option.
I know that my heart will be bruised for a little while, but the healing ache of moving on is one I embrace! I'd rather be healing than hurting like I have been doing for a long time.
This "big stick" is going to heal. I am going to be better for it. My future is going to be better because of it. One day the pain will be so distant in my memory that I will have to make a real effort to recall it.
I look forward to that day.
But for now, I'm nursing my bruises and giving them time to heal.
Tears of Frustration
Tonight as I crawl into bed and say my prayers, I feel the tears are going to fall, which is why I'm still up so late. I'm not sad. Really. I'm just tired and frustrated, and I desperately need some fun and laughter injected into my life right now.
I have been in the process of moving for four months. For FOUR MONTHS I have been either packing, moving, or unpacking. Now, I am repacking and moving again after being in this house only a month.
Frustrated.
Tired.
Overwhelmed.
Worn.
I passed all of those feelings weeks ago, and at this point I'm just hanging on.
With less than two weeks to pack and move this time, I have no free time to spare. Plus, I'm not able to lift anything over 10 pounds because of my recent surgery!! So I honestly don't know how I'm going to complete this task of moving. It seems impossible when I actually think about the details, but I know that somehow it will get done. Everything somehow always works itself out in the end.
I'm telling that to myself about my life, too. Everything somehow always works itself out in the end. I've been through a lot of big life changes recently, and I know without any doubts that they are for the better. Yet, that doesn't mean they are easy. I'm so ready to move on from this transition stage and start to live my life again!!
Fulfilled... not frustrated.
Invigorated... not tired.
Hopeful... not overwhelmed.
Wanted... not worn.
I want to feel those things. I look forward to feeling alive again rather than just breathing.
As I lay me down to sleep and pray the Lord my soul to keep, I'll close my eyes and remind myself that everything will work out. He always takes care of me when I can't take care of myself. He will never fail even when I do. His love endures when others cease. He is all I really need, and tonight I will rest in that.
I have been in the process of moving for four months. For FOUR MONTHS I have been either packing, moving, or unpacking. Now, I am repacking and moving again after being in this house only a month.
Frustrated.
Tired.
Overwhelmed.
Worn.
I passed all of those feelings weeks ago, and at this point I'm just hanging on.
With less than two weeks to pack and move this time, I have no free time to spare. Plus, I'm not able to lift anything over 10 pounds because of my recent surgery!! So I honestly don't know how I'm going to complete this task of moving. It seems impossible when I actually think about the details, but I know that somehow it will get done. Everything somehow always works itself out in the end.
I'm telling that to myself about my life, too. Everything somehow always works itself out in the end. I've been through a lot of big life changes recently, and I know without any doubts that they are for the better. Yet, that doesn't mean they are easy. I'm so ready to move on from this transition stage and start to live my life again!!
Fulfilled... not frustrated.
Invigorated... not tired.
Hopeful... not overwhelmed.
Wanted... not worn.
I want to feel those things. I look forward to feeling alive again rather than just breathing.
As I lay me down to sleep and pray the Lord my soul to keep, I'll close my eyes and remind myself that everything will work out. He always takes care of me when I can't take care of myself. He will never fail even when I do. His love endures when others cease. He is all I really need, and tonight I will rest in that.
There's No Place Like Home
I stood in the kitchen staring into my cabinets trying to decide what to cook for lunch. Cooking for one has its challenges. I don't want to make some big fancy meal and be stuck eating leftovers all week, the same meal over and over again (been there, done that, washed those dishes!), but I refuse to eat single serving mac-n-cheese or Lean Cuisine meals!
If I were at Mama's house, I could be having pork chops, peas, mashed potatoes, mac-n-cheese, crescent rolls, sweet tea... I close my eyes and click my barefooted heels together: "There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home."
Why should I be here cooking for one when I could be eating with my family?? Why should I look for ways to pass the time when I could be helping my grandmother water her tomato plants, sitting under the tree in the swing with my cousins at my aunt's house, or laying out with Mama by the pool?
So, barefooted in the kitchen of this rental house that will never be home, today I made the decision to move back to my hometown, the community where I grew up, the church where I was raised. Family is the most cherished aspect of my life, and to be able to spend precious moments with them is one wonderful blessing to come out of this mess my life seems to have become. God is going to bless this mess... I can feel it coming!!
Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with such a supportive, loving, faith-filled family and for allowing me this opportunity to draw closer to them and to You.
I'm going home!!! :)
If I were at Mama's house, I could be having pork chops, peas, mashed potatoes, mac-n-cheese, crescent rolls, sweet tea... I close my eyes and click my barefooted heels together: "There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home."
Why should I be here cooking for one when I could be eating with my family?? Why should I look for ways to pass the time when I could be helping my grandmother water her tomato plants, sitting under the tree in the swing with my cousins at my aunt's house, or laying out with Mama by the pool?
So, barefooted in the kitchen of this rental house that will never be home, today I made the decision to move back to my hometown, the community where I grew up, the church where I was raised. Family is the most cherished aspect of my life, and to be able to spend precious moments with them is one wonderful blessing to come out of this mess my life seems to have become. God is going to bless this mess... I can feel it coming!!
Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with such a supportive, loving, faith-filled family and for allowing me this opportunity to draw closer to them and to You.
I'm going home!!! :)
Bugs on the Windshield
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Prov. 3:5-6
I keep asking myself, Was I flying in the wrong direction? Was I in the way? Was I not supposed to be on that road? I guess I was wrong on all counts. In the wrong place. The wrong time.
BUT LUCKILY I'M NOT A BUG!! So now I get a chance to fly somewhere else! It's hard starting over, but life goes on. Next time, I'm going to do better at following Prov. 3:5-6. Trust in God, not myself, and He will tell me where to fly.
Splat!!
The poor little bug on my windshield hadn't stood a chance.
Just fluttering along minding its own business, then...
BAM!
Blindsided!
That's how I've felt lately. Blindsided. Squished on someone's windshield.
I keep asking myself, Was I flying in the wrong direction? Was I in the way? Was I not supposed to be on that road? I guess I was wrong on all counts. In the wrong place. The wrong time.
BUT LUCKILY I'M NOT A BUG!! So now I get a chance to fly somewhere else! It's hard starting over, but life goes on. Next time, I'm going to do better at following Prov. 3:5-6. Trust in God, not myself, and He will tell me where to fly.
Here's a sneak peak from my novel...
The stars and stripes hung dauntingly above the
squares on the fund-raiser calendar. One more day, one less empty box as she
squeaked the crimson sharpie across the half-filled page.
Hesitantly walking toward the kitchen sink with
the now-empty glass—syrah drops still visible along the gold band (such a
perfect wedding gift), she paused, contemplating the hours that lay ahead.
Looking back over her shoulder across the granite countertop to the uncorked
bottle, what could it hurt?
Not tonight. She had an early shift in the
morning.
As her hand reached to turn the faucet, the
street light coming in through the window grazed the silver band on her finger.
Such a short time ago, that sight would have been a comforting
reassurance.
Not anymore.
The
glass clanged against the stainless steel sink, shattering the silence. One
day at a time, just one day at a time, Janet reminded herself as she turned
to walk away, running a shaking hand through her hair, which was long overdue
for a trim. Time just doesn’t seem to
matter as much anymore, she thought, turning off the overhead kitchen
lights then walking over to the couch. She curled up, wrapping herself tightly
in the navy fleece blanket and hugging the pillow she’d brought in from the
bedroom earlier, and stared at the popcorn ceiling while hoping desperately for
a peaceful night’s sleep.
When Everything Falls Apart
The story of Job is one of the greatest testimonies in the Bible not because of how Job turned to God during times of blessings, but because of how Job stayed faithful even when he lost everything. His oxen, donkeys, sheep, camels, servants, SONS and DAUGHTERS were all taken from him. I get angry when I lose my keys!! Can you imagine losing everything the way Job did? Just suddenly. Bam. It's all gone. How would you handle it???
Job lost all that he had... except his faith. He didn't understand WHY these terrible things were happening to him, but he never doubted God's control over his situation. His response in verse 21 is astounding under the circumstances, "Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." When his own body became tortured with boils and his wife and friends told him to "curse God and die," still Job held on to his faith.
"Praise His Name"
By Jeff and Sheri Easter
When you're up against the wall,
And your mountain seems so tall,
And you realize life's not always fair,
You can run away and hide, let the old man decide
Or you can change your circumstances with a prayer.
When everything falls apart, praise His name
When you have a broken heart, raise your hands and say,
"Lord you're all I need. Your everything to me." And He'll take the pain away.
When it seems you're all alone, praise His name When you feel you can't go on,
raise your hands and say, "Greater is He that is within Me."
And you can praise the hurt away, if you'll just praise His name.
Oh you can overcome by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of your testimony
You'll see the darkness go as your faith begins to grow
You're not alone so how can you be lonely?
And your mountain seems so tall,
And you realize life's not always fair,
You can run away and hide, let the old man decide
Or you can change your circumstances with a prayer.
When everything falls apart, praise His name
When you have a broken heart, raise your hands and say,
"Lord you're all I need. Your everything to me." And He'll take the pain away.
When it seems you're all alone, praise His name When you feel you can't go on,
raise your hands and say, "Greater is He that is within Me."
And you can praise the hurt away, if you'll just praise His name.
Oh you can overcome by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of your testimony
You'll see the darkness go as your faith begins to grow
You're not alone so how can you be lonely?
Things have been a little rough for me lately, but I just keep reminding myself that God is always in control. No matter how bad things seem to be, He will never fail me. I'm learning to be content in all circumstances, and I'll let you in on a little secret - it feels great!! Even when things are falling apart around me, trusting 100% that God has me in the palm of his hand makes every day a good day. I am blessed beyond measure even on my worst days.
Little Changes - Big Impact
With the stress of the last few weeks - selling our house, starting a new job, the purchase of a new house falling through, and other stuff I don't want to mention - with the stress of it all weighing on my shoulders, I'm feeling a bit run down.
Sleep seems to evade me, and that's without the chickens going berserk at 1:00 a.m. to the point that I get off the couch, put on my blue jeans in the dark, scramble around looking for a flashlight, and go outside to tip toe through the mud with a light in one hand and pistol in the other to sneak up on whatever critter was after them (I didn't see anything, thank goodness. Still don't know why they went nuts!!).
So I have found myself in a viscious cycle fueled by caffeine! I drink coffee all day at work to stay awake because I'm so tired, then I can't sleep at night (likely because of all the caffeine in my system). So, the next day I'm even more tired so I injest even more caffeine, and once again I can't sleep. And so the cycle goes.
Until last night. I went to bed at 6:00 p.m.!!! I woke briefly to answer the phone around 8:00, but went straight back to sleep, slept straight through my alarm at 5:30, and woke up just in time to scramble to work. But I slept!!!! YAY!!
So today I opted for green tea. Maybe that will help break this cycle.
Sleep seems to evade me, and that's without the chickens going berserk at 1:00 a.m. to the point that I get off the couch, put on my blue jeans in the dark, scramble around looking for a flashlight, and go outside to tip toe through the mud with a light in one hand and pistol in the other to sneak up on whatever critter was after them (I didn't see anything, thank goodness. Still don't know why they went nuts!!).
So I have found myself in a viscious cycle fueled by caffeine! I drink coffee all day at work to stay awake because I'm so tired, then I can't sleep at night (likely because of all the caffeine in my system). So, the next day I'm even more tired so I injest even more caffeine, and once again I can't sleep. And so the cycle goes.
Until last night. I went to bed at 6:00 p.m.!!! I woke briefly to answer the phone around 8:00, but went straight back to sleep, slept straight through my alarm at 5:30, and woke up just in time to scramble to work. But I slept!!!! YAY!!
So today I opted for green tea. Maybe that will help break this cycle.
It's amazing how changing one little thing about your daily routine will affect your moods and actions and, in turn, affect all aspects of your life!
What little thing could you change today that would improve your life?
Next, I'm changing my radio station to gospel music.
It's kind of difficult to be discouraged or frustrated when listening to
How Great Thou Art or I Can Only Imagine!
WD-40
I don't recall what song the pianist was playing, but I was singing with gusto along with the congregation when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
"You need some WD-40 for that squeak?" the young girl on the pew behind me whispered in my ear before she and her best friend erupted in giggles, earning a stern look from her mom.
I can't remember if my mouth instantly closed, if I continued mouthing the words of the hymn, or if I began to simply hum along. All I remember is my chest tightening and stomach aching and counting down the next 45 minutes until the service ended so I could go home and lock myself in my bedroom.
I felt humiliated. As an insecure 13-year-old girl, having a girl I had known all my life and thought was my friend say something so hurtful destroyed part of me. At 13, I had yet to learn that friends are very fickle and few really care about you at all, so I felt as though everyone was laughing at me and making fun of me when I wasn't looking. Around the same time is when another girl from school who visited our church a couple of times turned her nose up in the parking lot after a Wednesday night service and insulted my shirt for being bought at Wal-Mart. (I now think it's ridiculous how much money people like that girl spend on their clothes at designer shops and feel sorry for them for throwing their money away!)
Neither girl probably remembers saying those hurtful comments to me. In fact, she may even read this and wonder who I'm talking about, but it doesn't matter. Those hurtful words changed me. Before that Sunday night service, I loved to sing!! I had been singing solos since I was old enough to talk, and singing ran in my family. My dad was the song leader, for goodness sake!
But after that night, I didn't want to make a sound. It wasn't until more than 10 years later, when I heard a recording of myself singing with my brother (who is an amazing vocalist, by the way - majoring in music in college and already following in Daddy's footsteps as a song director at a local church and planning big things for his musical career) that I began to overcome my insecurities.
She was wrong. I didn't need WD-40. But I let her words stop me from doing something I loved to do for much of the next decade.
She needed to feel better by putting someone down, and that unfortunate someone happened to be me on that particular night. And after the comment about my clothes coming from Wal-Mart, I eventually quit trying to dress cute at school and adorned my plain t-shirt and jeans nearly every day until graduation because I'd rather look like I didn't care about my clothes than to look like I was trying to fit in and fail.
Moral of the story, your words leave a lasting impression on the people around you, so choose them carefully. Don't take your frustrations or insecurities out on someone else, no matter how insignificant your comments may seem to you.
By the way, I love to sing now and smile to myself when people tell me how stylish I am! I've even become the go-to person for beauty and fashion advice for so many of my Avon customers!! No matter what someone has said about you in the past, don't let their words stop you from being whoever you want to be. If you want to wear t-shirts and jeans every day, fine; but don't do it for the sake of blending in. Sing to the top of your lungs if singing is what YOU want to do. This is your life!! Don't let someone else's meaningless words dictate your actions.
"You need some WD-40 for that squeak?" the young girl on the pew behind me whispered in my ear before she and her best friend erupted in giggles, earning a stern look from her mom.
I can't remember if my mouth instantly closed, if I continued mouthing the words of the hymn, or if I began to simply hum along. All I remember is my chest tightening and stomach aching and counting down the next 45 minutes until the service ended so I could go home and lock myself in my bedroom.
I felt humiliated. As an insecure 13-year-old girl, having a girl I had known all my life and thought was my friend say something so hurtful destroyed part of me. At 13, I had yet to learn that friends are very fickle and few really care about you at all, so I felt as though everyone was laughing at me and making fun of me when I wasn't looking. Around the same time is when another girl from school who visited our church a couple of times turned her nose up in the parking lot after a Wednesday night service and insulted my shirt for being bought at Wal-Mart. (I now think it's ridiculous how much money people like that girl spend on their clothes at designer shops and feel sorry for them for throwing their money away!)
Neither girl probably remembers saying those hurtful comments to me. In fact, she may even read this and wonder who I'm talking about, but it doesn't matter. Those hurtful words changed me. Before that Sunday night service, I loved to sing!! I had been singing solos since I was old enough to talk, and singing ran in my family. My dad was the song leader, for goodness sake!
But after that night, I didn't want to make a sound. It wasn't until more than 10 years later, when I heard a recording of myself singing with my brother (who is an amazing vocalist, by the way - majoring in music in college and already following in Daddy's footsteps as a song director at a local church and planning big things for his musical career) that I began to overcome my insecurities.
She was wrong. I didn't need WD-40. But I let her words stop me from doing something I loved to do for much of the next decade.
She needed to feel better by putting someone down, and that unfortunate someone happened to be me on that particular night. And after the comment about my clothes coming from Wal-Mart, I eventually quit trying to dress cute at school and adorned my plain t-shirt and jeans nearly every day until graduation because I'd rather look like I didn't care about my clothes than to look like I was trying to fit in and fail.
Moral of the story, your words leave a lasting impression on the people around you, so choose them carefully. Don't take your frustrations or insecurities out on someone else, no matter how insignificant your comments may seem to you.
If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all!
By the way, I love to sing now and smile to myself when people tell me how stylish I am! I've even become the go-to person for beauty and fashion advice for so many of my Avon customers!! No matter what someone has said about you in the past, don't let their words stop you from being whoever you want to be. If you want to wear t-shirts and jeans every day, fine; but don't do it for the sake of blending in. Sing to the top of your lungs if singing is what YOU want to do. This is your life!! Don't let someone else's meaningless words dictate your actions.
Desserts in the Desert
"The desert is only a season in our life. When He has accomplished what He wants in our lives in the desert, He will bring us out. He has given us a mission to fulfill that can only be fulfilled after we have spent adequate time in preparation in the desert. Fear not the desert, for it is there you will hear God's voice like never before."
[Os Hillman, Today God Is First (Pennsylvania: Destiny Image Publishers, Inc., 2000), 24.]
So... this morning I woke up craving chocolate. Now, 7 a.m. after indulging myself in several mini chocolate bars whose names I can't pronounce and flavors I'm not quite sure of other than they were delicious (my brother brought them home from his tour of Europe), here I am contemplating why I don't start EVERY day with chocolate!
As an emotional eater, I'm surprised these chocolate bars escaped the last couple of weeks untouched. Several times recently, I have found myself feeling a little detached. The path my life seemed to be on for so long is shifting so rapidly that I am hustling to stay on track with this new pace, and I feel as though to escape the marathon outside - a marathon I've trained for by sitting on the couch - I've ducked in a small, stifling theater, out of breath to watch a 3D movie of my life in silence sans the glasses.
I've been so stressed lately, but do you know what stressed spelled backwards is??
DESSERTS!
In the midst of my desert, I'm choosing to indulge in dessert! God didn't intend for us to rush through every day just checking things off a to-do list like I seem to do sometimes. Every day is a gift from God, and we need to alter our pace in order to indulge in the simple pleasures with which He has blessed us.DESSERTS!
Pause a moment to inhale the smell of fresh brewed coffee, to breathe in the fresh air and watch the clouds drift slowly by, to stand under the steaming shower an extra minute letting your muscles relax, to sit on the porch with your dog's head rested in your lap, to listen to a mockingbird.
Life isn't about to-do lists, wasn't meant to be about gaining possessions,
and shouldn't be centered around computers, I-phones, and TVs.
God didn't create this beautiful world for us to race our way through it, so indulge in the good things, the simple things, and slow down.
Here's to having desserts in your desert :)
Giving God the Eraser
Have you ever heard the saying "Write your plans in pencil and give God the eraser"?
In a devotional book I discovered as I was packing away one of my many bookshelves (Have I mentioned we sold our house in a week and have found no where to move?? More on that later), I happened upon that simple quote this week and it got me thinking.
I can't stand when things don't go as planned (I'm going nuts knowing I have to move in a few weeks & have no clue where I'm moving!). I push forward with determination to make things end up the way I want them to end, which is great as a writer because it means I get my story finished by my deadline, but not so great as a Christian woman. I'm not good at giving God the eraser.
When I don't like how my life story is going (ex: no place to live starting in July!), I treat it just like my fictional stories. I erase the lines myself and write and rewrite over and over again until my eraser is bare and the page hardly legible from pencil smudges (and my hair is falling out and I'm exhausted), trying to get every piece of the storyline exactly how I think it should be. I try to force the outcome I want, the happy ending we find in books. Sound familiar?? I know I'm not the only one who is a control freak :)
In a devotional book I discovered as I was packing away one of my many bookshelves (Have I mentioned we sold our house in a week and have found no where to move?? More on that later), I happened upon that simple quote this week and it got me thinking.
I can't stand when things don't go as planned (I'm going nuts knowing I have to move in a few weeks & have no clue where I'm moving!). I push forward with determination to make things end up the way I want them to end, which is great as a writer because it means I get my story finished by my deadline, but not so great as a Christian woman. I'm not good at giving God the eraser.
When I don't like how my life story is going (ex: no place to live starting in July!), I treat it just like my fictional stories. I erase the lines myself and write and rewrite over and over again until my eraser is bare and the page hardly legible from pencil smudges (and my hair is falling out and I'm exhausted), trying to get every piece of the storyline exactly how I think it should be. I try to force the outcome I want, the happy ending we find in books. Sound familiar?? I know I'm not the only one who is a control freak :)
But our lives aren't stories in a book.
How often does God have to jerk the pencil out of your hands or even snatch the paper away because you just refuse to stop trying to fix it yourself?
Give Him the eraser today and let Him be the author of your story.
My Life in a Binder
I don't know about you, but I waste too much time looking for things. I spend at least 15 minutes every day searching for my grocery list, a piece of mail, a bill that I'm not sure I paid yet, etc. So yesterday, I spent some time searching the internet for ideas to make a binder to organize as much as possible to help simplify my life, and here is what I came up with!
My binder cover with quotes to motivate me to stay organized!
Week at a glance
I jot down reminders and lists on sticky notes all the time, so this page helps me corral them all in one spot.
I have started a grocery budget to really monitor what we spend. Working for myself, my sales are up and down throughout the year, so money gets tight at times and I have to really make the most of it.
We shop at various stores, so I decided to start keeping separate lists for each store. The sticky notes allow me to just grab and go.
I love meal planning!! It gives me a chance to be creative in our meal selection, ensures we don't eat the same thing all the time, and helps cut down on the grocery bill by only buying what we need each week. I also plan by what is on sale or what needs to be used from our freezer (my husband is a hunter so we freeze a lot of deer, turkey, fish, and hogs, plus we raise chickens).
To organize - This page may not be useful to everyone, but it is to me. I want my whole house to be organized, and I work toward that goal when I have time. Keeping a list helps me quickly see which tasks need to be completed and I can choose based on how much time I have.
To help me get back to blogging regularly, I've added a section in my binder for blog ideas that includes a blog calendar so I can schedule my posts in advance. I also have extra pages here to work on my magazine article submissions and my next novel!
Projects, projects, projects! I always have several going on at once, so it helps to keep one master "to do" list to keep me on track and prioritize.
These future projects are things I want to do when I finish what I'm working on now or when I have a little extra money to buy the supplies. Right now, most of my projects are related to my yard because I'm so ready for spring and digging in the dirt!!
I began the year trying to stick to a pre-determined schedule for reading the Bible through in 2013. I've since decided that I don't love that schedule because if I'm off one day, it throws me off completely. So here, I make a list weekly and just try to accomplish that so I'm not overwhelmed by the big picture (there is a copy of my 2013 master calendar in the back fo my binder, though). I also included paper in this section so I can write down notes as I study each day.
Then the business section: Avon. My Avon business is really growing, and I have other binders to keep it organized, but I always need a place to jot down orders when people call me and I'm away from my desk. This gives me a spot to do that.
In the back of the binder, I have several page protectors. One is for bills that need to be paid. Once paid, I throw the bill in the trash or file it away. I sit down and pay bills once a week.
Another page protector is for coupons! I am big on saving money, but I'm not a coupon queen. I'll let you in on my shopping secrets sometime soon to show you how I save on groceries without coupons.
Then the birthday list. I have big families on both sides, so I need a list like this just for all my family members. One side has my mom's family, and the other side has my dad's. I can't afford to buy gifts for them all, but I'd like to start sending birthday cards at least. Got to start somewhere though!
In the very back, I have cleaning lists. Working from home, I've developed a few routines that cut down on cleaning time overall, but I still keep a weekly cleaning list and a monthly list in here just in case I need to catch up. These lists came from Martha Stewart's website. (I also have lists from her website hanging in my closets to help me stay organized there, but that's for another post.)
So, what do you think?
Do you think it will work and help keep me organized??
We'll see...
Great Night!
We had a fantastic night tonight at church (springhillbc.blogspot.com) with guest quartet Paul's Journey. If any of you in the south Alabama area would like to hear some great music this weekend, head on down to Harmony at the Gulf in Orange Beach tomorrow through Sunday. Paul's Journey, along with many other groups, will be ministering through their musical talents all weekend.
I encourage you to visit their website and check out their music: paulsjourneyonline.com. You will be blessed!
Their message tonight through music was just the energy boost I needed to rejuice my system to make it through the rest of this week. I haven't been feeling well lately, which is why I haven't been blogging much (sorry!). I'll catch up soon, I promise!!
Tonight, I want to leave you with this thought: Are you doing what God wants you to be doing?? I don't just mean overall in the big scheme of life. I'm talking about today, tomorrow, this week- are you doing what God wants you to be doing right now, in this moment, in this situation, under these circumstances??
No matter what is going on in your day to day, God has a purpose and a plan for every aspect of your life, not just the big decisions. He may lead you to go to Hardees instead of McDonalds for breakfast because the cashier there needs you to witness to her - who knows! When you surrender to Him, even the little, seemingly insignificant things can turn into ministry moments that could change someone's life... maybe even your own.
I encourage you to visit their website and check out their music: paulsjourneyonline.com. You will be blessed!
Their message tonight through music was just the energy boost I needed to rejuice my system to make it through the rest of this week. I haven't been feeling well lately, which is why I haven't been blogging much (sorry!). I'll catch up soon, I promise!!
Tonight, I want to leave you with this thought: Are you doing what God wants you to be doing?? I don't just mean overall in the big scheme of life. I'm talking about today, tomorrow, this week- are you doing what God wants you to be doing right now, in this moment, in this situation, under these circumstances??
No matter what is going on in your day to day, God has a purpose and a plan for every aspect of your life, not just the big decisions. He may lead you to go to Hardees instead of McDonalds for breakfast because the cashier there needs you to witness to her - who knows! When you surrender to Him, even the little, seemingly insignificant things can turn into ministry moments that could change someone's life... maybe even your own.
Doing the Happy Dance!!!
I'm done! I'm done! I'm really really done!!!!!
Whoo-hoo! Hip hip hooray!!! My novel is complete and ready for publication. This is a day I've been working toward my whole life but thought would never happen because I didn't believe in myself enough to go for it in the past. I thank God for putting people in my life who do believe in me and who have pushed me to see this through.
In high school, becoming a writer is all I really wanted to do (other than play in the WNBA, of course), and to have this dream come to fruition a decade later overwhelms me. To be able to walk into my ten-year class reunion as a published novelist... it's more than I thought I'd ever accomplish.
Thank you for your prayers over the last year, and especially the last few months as I've been finishing up my manuscript. My excitement is beyond what my words can express (which is kind of bad since I'm a writer). One of the most exciting aspects of being finished is that I can get back to blogging!! I have stored up so many things I want to put onto paper while I've forced tunnel-vision on myself in order to meet my deadline, and I look forward to sharing all of those thoughts with you here.
2013 is going to be the best year of my life!! I can feel it in my bones!! :-)
Thank you, Lord, for your blessings!
Whoo-hoo! Hip hip hooray!!! My novel is complete and ready for publication. This is a day I've been working toward my whole life but thought would never happen because I didn't believe in myself enough to go for it in the past. I thank God for putting people in my life who do believe in me and who have pushed me to see this through.
In high school, becoming a writer is all I really wanted to do (other than play in the WNBA, of course), and to have this dream come to fruition a decade later overwhelms me. To be able to walk into my ten-year class reunion as a published novelist... it's more than I thought I'd ever accomplish.
Thank you for your prayers over the last year, and especially the last few months as I've been finishing up my manuscript. My excitement is beyond what my words can express (which is kind of bad since I'm a writer). One of the most exciting aspects of being finished is that I can get back to blogging!! I have stored up so many things I want to put onto paper while I've forced tunnel-vision on myself in order to meet my deadline, and I look forward to sharing all of those thoughts with you here.
2013 is going to be the best year of my life!! I can feel it in my bones!! :-)
Thank you, Lord, for your blessings!
No write...
Today is one of those days when I feel I can't do anything right... which, in turn, means no writing gets done. You know how those days are. Fortunately, none of my problems are really even big enough to call 'problems'; they're just inconveniences, I guess.
Primary mess up at the moment - my husband is searching high and low for something he swears I've hidden from him (which is likely true since I'm usually to blame for putting things away then forgetting where they are), but I have no idea where it is. I'm sure he'll eventually give up, then I'll have to look for it and probably find it in a matter of minutes, which will then prompt him to believe I knew all along where it was (but I don't - I promise). Editing note- He did give up, and I found it in 5 minutes. To his credit, I was the one to put it away and forget where it was, just as I expected.
Frustrating time-waster number two - I spent a while this morning carefully planning a grocery list with coupons, then the cashier wouldn't accept some of them (which makes absolutely no sense since the coupons came from the same place as others she processed for me with no problem and they clearly were not out of date). So instead of saving $2, I spent an extra $6 because I didn't want to take the additional time to return the items to the shelves. Big deal, I know you're thinking, $6, whoop-dee-whoop.
Lastly, while I'm trying to concentrate on editing my novel (with my husband loudly rummaging through every nook and cranny of my house and yard), my phone keeps ringing with Avon customers looking for their products. My Avon shipment came in a few days behind schedule, so I just got it in this morning instead of last week. I guess I'll be spending this afternoon working on that job instead of writing.
Tomorrow is already booked working a temp job, and I go back to my teaching job next week, so I'm running out of time to edit my novel and, therefore, feeling so frustrated that I'm letting little bity things like $2 in coupons throw me out of my rhythm.
Lord, please help me look past these little things that often get in my way. You know how I struggle with maintaining my stress level and thrive with a steady routine, which gets complicated by even these minor mishaps. Please help me to not get caught up with worrying about these minute details of life that really don't matter at all, and help me to shake off all things - big or small - that would put me in a less than happy mood. Thank you for a house with so many closets that things get lost. Thank you that I have time to clip coupons and for the dollars I did save and that I'm able to buy groceries without pinching pennies. And thank you for my successful Avon business that keeps me busy even on what I consider my off days. Please help me finish editing my book and guide me so the finishing product will glorify You. In Jesus name, Amen.
Primary mess up at the moment - my husband is searching high and low for something he swears I've hidden from him (which is likely true since I'm usually to blame for putting things away then forgetting where they are), but I have no idea where it is. I'm sure he'll eventually give up, then I'll have to look for it and probably find it in a matter of minutes, which will then prompt him to believe I knew all along where it was (but I don't - I promise). Editing note- He did give up, and I found it in 5 minutes. To his credit, I was the one to put it away and forget where it was, just as I expected.
Frustrating time-waster number two - I spent a while this morning carefully planning a grocery list with coupons, then the cashier wouldn't accept some of them (which makes absolutely no sense since the coupons came from the same place as others she processed for me with no problem and they clearly were not out of date). So instead of saving $2, I spent an extra $6 because I didn't want to take the additional time to return the items to the shelves. Big deal, I know you're thinking, $6, whoop-dee-whoop.
Lastly, while I'm trying to concentrate on editing my novel (with my husband loudly rummaging through every nook and cranny of my house and yard), my phone keeps ringing with Avon customers looking for their products. My Avon shipment came in a few days behind schedule, so I just got it in this morning instead of last week. I guess I'll be spending this afternoon working on that job instead of writing.
Tomorrow is already booked working a temp job, and I go back to my teaching job next week, so I'm running out of time to edit my novel and, therefore, feeling so frustrated that I'm letting little bity things like $2 in coupons throw me out of my rhythm.
Lord, please help me look past these little things that often get in my way. You know how I struggle with maintaining my stress level and thrive with a steady routine, which gets complicated by even these minor mishaps. Please help me to not get caught up with worrying about these minute details of life that really don't matter at all, and help me to shake off all things - big or small - that would put me in a less than happy mood. Thank you for a house with so many closets that things get lost. Thank you that I have time to clip coupons and for the dollars I did save and that I'm able to buy groceries without pinching pennies. And thank you for my successful Avon business that keeps me busy even on what I consider my off days. Please help me finish editing my book and guide me so the finishing product will glorify You. In Jesus name, Amen.
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